Today is your first birthday (actually, in 33 minutes it will be exactly 1 year), and I have been thinking about what I would want to tell you on this day. There were so many things, but trying to put it in writing makes it sound cheesy and obvious. I would want to tell you how much Daddy and I love you, but I can't even verbalize just how much that is. I would say that you have changed our lives in so many ways, and other than the lack of sleep, it's been all good. Honestly, I can't even complain about the lack of sleep because you have always slept so well at night, it actually makes other moms jealous. I cannot hug you enough, kiss you enough, or tell you I love you enough to express how much love I feel. I know your Daddy feels the same way, because we talk about it all the time. I would tell you that we will always be here for you, no matter what, but I hope that you will always know that, even if we don't tell you all the time. Unfortunately, I had to take you to get your 1 year shots today. You cried but you handled it really well. We spent the rest of the day with Grandma. She bought you a pink bean bag chair that you love. You can only sit on it in rooms that have carpet because you climb on top and almost tumble off if someone weren't there to catch you. We are having a little family party for you this Sunday at our house, complete with party hats.
I figured that when you get older you might like to know how you came into this world - with some parts censored, of course. I have been asked if you were "planned," and the answer is YES, 100% planned. Your Dad and I had said that we would like to be married for a year before we had a baby, and I also wanted to be finished with school. It couldn't have worked out more perfectly. I graduated college on May 9, 2005, and little did I know that you were there accepting my diploma with me. Our 1 year wedding anniversary was May 16, 2005. To celebrate, we spent the weekend in Orlando to go to Disney World. On the morning of May 14th, in a Radisson Hotel room, I took a pregnancy test. The line was very faint, so I took it to Brent to show him, and he confirmed that there was indeed a line. We went to the Magic Kingdom that day, and as the slogan goes, it truly was the happiest place on earth for us. Unfortunately, I did have to skip my favorite rides, Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain.
My pregnancy was a good one. I was extremely paranoid, especially in the beginning, but you were healthy in every way. I remember the first time I heard your heart beat. Your daddy came to every doctor's appointment with me, but he had to miss this one because our air conditioner broke, and it was July and we had to get it fixed. It sounds cliche, but it was amazing to hear your little heart beating so fast. That was the day it sunk in for me that I was really carrying something in there! I couldn't wait to "look pregnant" and get the big belly, but I guess I should've been careful what I wished for, because I got huge. HUGE. I won't say how heavy I was exactly, but I think huge does it justice. My feet swelled, my face and hands swelled, but I was still happy. I loved feeling you moving, I loved rubbing my big-but-still-nice belly, and I loved thinking about the day you would be born, whatever day that might be. You were due January 18th, and I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions a little before that. They didn't hurt, and I didn't even know they were happening until I went to the doctor's office and they hooked me up to the monitors. I started thinking, "any day now!" And it just wasn't happening. They scheduled me to be induced, but I didn't want to be induced. I wanted you to come naturally, when you were ready. However, on Friday, January 20th, I had a doctor's appointment and when she did an ultrasound it showed that my amniotic fluid was low. That was a bit concerning, so she told me to drink as much water as I could over the weekend, and come back on Monday. When I went back in on Monday with your Dad, it was still low, and Dr. Martin said we could head to the hospital right then to be induced, or I could be put on bed rest until Wednesday to see if I went in to labor naturally. Otherwise I would have no choice but to be induced. It was a hard decision, but after thinking about it for a couple of hours we decided to be induced that day. I had been driving around with my packed suitcase in my car for a couple of weeks, so we were ready to go. We got to the hospital around 5:00pm. They put me in bed and hooked me up to the IV. That was the worst! I started crying as soon as they did that because I HATE needles and did not want to have an IV. Then to make matters worse, I found out that it would be a midwife handling the delivery and not my doctor, and that made me even more upset. At one point, we were reconsidering being induced that day and thought about leaving, but I was not about to go through the IV thing twice. Plus, the doctor and nurse just felt it was best to get you out due to the low fluid. The midwife attempted to break my water, but I didn't seem to be dilated enough, so she had a hard time. Instead they were going to keep me in overnight and start me on Pitocin early the next morning. Well, apparently the midwife broke my water more than she thought she did because it kicked me into labor almost immediately. Aunt Nicole met us at the hospital shortly after all this happened, and my first words to her were something like "this sucks." Remember, I am censoring this. The nurses didn't seem to have any sense of urgency about my labor, they were still expecting that the action wouldn't happen until the next morning. For me, the pain just kept getting worse and worse. I had made it clear that I wanted the epidural, but she kept saying that I wasn't ready yet. Instead, she offered to give me some pain meds in my IV, and I told her no, all I wanted was the epidural. I had read that the epidural was safest for the baby, and it was so common, all the mothers I asked said get the epidural! The second time the nurse asked about the IV pain meds, I was in so much pain I asked her if it would really help. She said it would make me feel drunk, and not do a whole lot for the pain, so again I said no. Finally, the third time she asked, she said she could give me the smallest dose, just to ease the pain a little bit. I was hurting so bad at this point that I agreed. Little did we know that the midwife decided to go ahead and give me the full dosage, and I passed out almost instantly. The nurse wasn't kidding about feeling drunk, I remember it felt like falling over in slow motion. And it did nothing for the pain! I guess it was about 20 minutes later that I started feeling the worst pains ever, and it woke me up. At this point everything is a blur for me. Next thing I know they are telling me to push, and contractions are coming one on top of another. I don't think I opened my eyes once because I was still groggy from the medication, but I know Brent was there helping me push, and I would keep holding my breathe and he would remind me to exhale. He also swears that I said "git er done," but I don't know if I believe that part. It went by so fast, but all of a sudden they were telling me to stop pushing because you were coming out, and then it was over and the pain suddenly subsided. I didn't hear you cry right away, and I started asking everyone "why isn't she crying?" Apparently you were groggy from the medication too, and they had to give you a shot to reverse it. You just wanted to sleep. You were perfectly fine, totally healthy. Both Grandmas came into the room to check you out, and I just remember feeling so relieved, besides being so exhausted I could barely open my eyes. After being assured that you were okay, my next question was where the hell was the epidural?! As it turned out, they were bringing in the cart to give it to me right as I was waking up from my little nap, and by then we missed the opportunity!. I guess since the medication relaxed me it kicked my labor into high gear and I went from being 5cm's to a full 10cm during that time. I was so glad to have your Daddy and Aunt Nicole there with me, it would have been so much harder without them.You were born at 11:11pm, about 6 hours after I checked into the hospital. All in all, a very quick delivery. Thinking about it now, I actually wish I could go back and experience it all over again.
Your first few minutes:
First day home:
1 month old:
2 months:
3 months:
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
10 months
11 months
Today, 1 year old:
We love you Ava! We want to make every birthday special, especially this one. Happy Birthday!
